Those powerful three words

I’d avoid saying cliché things like “ Kerja dengan belajar memang lain” , “ kerja tak sama dengan belajar” and etc. even though it is the hardest truth to admit. Sebab rasa macam poyo  je nak cakap macam tu. Walaupun masa mula kerja macam Oh My Godness, banyak gila aku tak tahu. Banyak gila aku terpaka tanya senior. Banyak gila aku terpaksa seek help. Tapi kalau orang tanya, macam mana kerja I’d say “ Ok je”. But I know, most people won’t believe that I actually struggling to handle my personal life because of my work. Well, different people different luck ( based on which area you are).From the surface, it might look normal. Nothing much to do. Kononnya la kan.  But, as I always say, being the youngest, people expect me to do more. I’m responsible for so many things. In the beginning, I had hard time juggling all those things. I’m afraid to go to work. I’m sad when I’m back from work. I  don’t mingle much. I’m depressed and I’m sad. I’m just sad. Sad. Sad.

Disebebkan terlalu takut, banyak kerja dan stress I forgot many things. Pergi kerja terlupa mana letak telefon. Kadanag-kadang terlupa bawak telefon padahal telefon benda yang paling penting sebab senang PK nak contact kalau ada pape. Senang kawan nak telefon kalau nak inform pape. Dan disebabkan stress dan takut dengan kerja, sampai mak aku merajuk dengan aku. Kononnya macam aku lupa nak telefon mak. Adui!

That day, I was driving from KL to JB  ALONE at night. Last Sunday was the last day of school holiday. The jam was crazy from KL to Seremban.  So, aku  ter slow la sikit. Last –last sampai JB pukul 10 malam. Ambik Husna terus pergi makan. Balik, mandi terus tidur. Lupa nak call mak cakap dah sampai. Esok, pergi kerja, memang jangan harap la nak text atau call. Memang tak sempat sebab banyak kerja perlu di settle kan. Terlupa nak call boleh?  You can just forget about anything else you know. I’m suck, I know. Tapi tak nak cakap working life suck, tu masalah sendiri la kan. It’s normal for newbies  anyway.

Petang nya mak call,tanya dah sampai ke. Anak dara dia ni hah sampai tak telefon or even text cakap dah sampai. At that time, I felt bad about myself. I forgot to do most important thing; tell my mum that I safely arrived. Mungkin sebab banyak kerja,kerja, dan kerja yang aku fikirkan sampai aku terlupa pada orang yang care much about me. Mak bimbang la kan, sekarang musim raya. Banyak accident. Aku tak habis cakap lagi mak letak telefon. Aku call balik mak tak angkat. Aku text mak cakap aku terlupa nak cakap aku dah sampai. Aku banyak kerja. Semua tahu kan yang aku buat dua kerja. So, aku agak busy la. Di tempat kerja dan dirumah. Selang beberapa hari, aku call mak beberapa kali tapi mak tak angkat. Mustahil tak tengok phone. Sehari selepas tu, mak pun tak call balik. MAMA MERAJUK!

Masa aku dengar radio on the way nak pergi kerja, aku dengar pasal POWERFUL THREE WORDS. Simple words that could change everything.

         I LOVE YOU            YOU LOOK AWSOME       I AM SORRY        YOU ARE NICE

Kita rasa macam perkataan ni like nothing tapi, these words have tremendous effects on human feelings and behavior. Dah dekat seminggu mak merajuk, tak angkat telefon tak  balas text, so I texted “ Mama, I’m sorry”  bla bla bla bla. Lepas tu mak terus balas message. Terus mak call lepas tu. See, the power of three words. One more thing is, I AM SORRY includes in groups of words that never fail to melt people heart same like THANK YOU.

Kita kadang-kadang malu, segan atau mungkin keras hati nak cakap benda-benda macam ni dekat orang yang kita sayang. Tapi seriously, cakap la words macam ni kat orang yang kita sayang. Kita manusia. Hati kita lembut. Say sorry when you’re wrong. Admit your mistake. People are ready to forgive.

Tapi akhirnya decide aku tak boleh macam ni forever. I have a note book. I write everything in it. I have a long TO DO LIST. Yelah takut lupa. Bila usia meningkat ditambah lagi dengan stress, I just can’t lose it. Note book tu nadi kehidupan aku sekarang ni. Gitu pulak kenzz. Notebook ni pernah misplace kejap, macam ayam hilang anak dah jadinya aku ni. Semua benda ada dalam tu termasuk segala ID dan password untuk key in mark dan whatnot. Fuh! *kesat peluh meleleh kat dahi*

Kerja tak sama macam belajar. Dua dunia yang berbeza.

Eh, tadi cakap tak nak cakap :P